2chan says: I’m 25 years old. How can I become an idol?

A 2ch user identifying herself as 25 years old and unemployed, turns to the anonymous Japanese internet to solicit advice for becoming a member of a 48 group.

Hi there. Welcome to “2chan says.” I will be attempting to translate selected threads from Japanese message board 2chan (aka, 2ch or 2channel), purely for interest and entertainment purposes (and for translation practice). The opinions expressed here belong to the anonymous Japanese internet at large, and do not necessarily reflect the view of akbzine; plus, this page could be riddled with translation errors anyway. Proceed at your own risk, fine reader!

Translation notes? There are a few terms and references which I feel require a little bit of explanation.

The poster calls herself a “NEET” (ニート), which is an acronym which refers to a person who is, “Not in Education, Employment, or Training”.

There is also a reference to the creases in eyelids: in Japan (and East Asia in general, I think), most people naturally have what they call a “monolid”, which is an eyelid with no creases. However, having “double eyelids” is considered a sign of beauty, and there is a specific type of makeup called “eye putty” which is designed to make a monolid into a double eyelid.

The original poster also mentions a group called “ELT”, which is short for Every Little Thing. They are a Japanese band that was popular in the late 90s and early 2000s.

A way for a 25 year old and unemployed to become a 48 group idol

1: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:16:31.74 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I would rate my appearance as above average. I have a baby-face and a flat chest. I do not want to lie about my age, so please help me out here.

3: 47の素敵な(やわらか銀行)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイ 44ae-fmlL) 2016/02/27(土) 02:17:18.07 ID:cLYn1OcI0.net
Guys cannot become idols.

4: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:19:32.06 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I am female. If you need proof, I might be able to provide some.

5: 47の素敵な(鳥取県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW f324-ihJv) 2016/02/27(土) 02:23:01.44 ID:JYnJ5VxO0.net
It’s impossible because you are not a virgin.

6: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:25:01.71 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Yes, I am! There would not be any kind of scandal or leaking of private photos from my pre-idol days, so I am safe there.

12: 47の素敵な(東京都)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 50a0-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:32:42.23 ID:cnXwvDl10.net
25 years is much too old. You should have realized this much sooner.

15: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:35:03.23 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I know it is not good. I became really interested in idols while I was studying for my university entrance exams. Before I knew it, I had become my current age. Painfully, I understand that I might be too late.

18: 47の素敵な(pc?)@\(^o^)/ 2016/02/27(土) 02:38:19.28 .net
If you are real, I’ll support you!

19: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:40:09.11 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I’ve got this. Here’s a picture of my figure.


20: 47の素敵な(茸)@\(^o^)/ (スプー Sde9-ihJv) 2016/02/27(土) 02:41:35.58 ID:nWWkXZQJd.net
What the hell? You are not bad at all. Please date me!

21: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:43:21.09 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Thanks, lol.

I was not sure how to cover myself up, kind of like in the cabaret or hostess clubs. I wonder if it is just okay to cover my face though…

22: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa57-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 02:43:27.04 ID:xPwDwDW+a.net
The most important thing is your face, isn’t it?

33: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-00eQ) 2016/02/27(土) 02:54:23.29 ID:ZHXq5XY6a.net
If we do not see your face, we cannot make our judgements.

36: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:00:26.38 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Yes, I understand that idols have really “presumptuous” faces….


37: 47の素敵な(茸)@\(^o^)/ (スプー Sde9-ihJv) 2016/02/27(土) 03:01:21.46 ID:nWWkXZQJd.net
Whoa! You should really erase that quick! It will be all over the internet soon!

41: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:02:51.03 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Yes, I will erase it soon. Also, I realized that I should just put part of my face. Thank you very much!

47: 47の素敵な(地震なし)@\(^o^)/ (スプー Sdd9-0OR3) 2016/02/27(土) 03:08:21.98 ID:67t8Ubb/d.net
Are you for real, haha? This sounds like a vague reference or something.

50: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:10:06.71 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Try doing an image search. If you are even able to find something, it’ll probably be my Twitter.

40: 47の素敵な(pc?)@\(^o^)/ 2016/02/27(土) 03:01:57.69 .net
Alright, I’ll support you!

48: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:08:41.09 ID:KFsWKEaca.net
You are born in 1990?

52: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:10:28.60 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I was born in 1991, so this year I am 25 years old.

51: 47の素敵な(東京都)@\(^o^)/ 2016/02/27(土) 03:10:15.25 .net
First of all, you should try going to the auditions.

54: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:11:15.97 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I went to the Keyakizaka, NMB, and HKT auditions.

53: 47の素敵な(地震なし)@\(^o^)/ (スプー Sdd9-0OR3) 2016/02/27(土) 03:11:08.01 ID:67t8Ubb/d.net
Your time as an idol would be really short. I think you should seriously think about your future. 25 is just too late. Even if you tried, your best scenario would be maybe a Japanese “talent”, right?

62: 47の素敵な(地震なし)@\(^o^)/ (スプー Sde9-0OR3) 2016/02/27(土) 03:20:43.28 ID:fcTCzzJPd.net
I do not think you should treat your dreams and reality as the same thing. Idols seem to live in this flashy dream world, but if you do not sell yourself, you cannot eat. Even more than that, it would be safer to think about how you will be living from here on out. Even Okapan quit, and decided to pursue medical science…

66: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:25:29.40 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
If becoming an idol is impossible, I want to get married and be a part-time house wife.

89: 47の素敵な(禿)@\(^o^)/ (オッペケ Sr68-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:48:57.76 ID:T99j2Ei/r.net
Lately, it seems that even NEET that are women are unable to get married. You are 25 years old, so do some work instead.

65: 47の素敵な(dion軍)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイWW 4a2b-Z0TZ) 2016/02/27(土) 03:24:44.35 ID:XIa4Uozy0.net
Let me say something as someone who is around your age. I think 25 years old is really pusshing it. But maybe you can do gravure or something else.

67: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:26:12.57 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Oooh, Mr. Same-Age!

I have only learned swimming. I can do gravure. I’ll take it off.

71: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-ihJv) 2016/02/27(土) 03:28:45.24 ID:QP0t8tQma.net
Upload, please!

73: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:29:29.28 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Haha, I can’t do that.

68: 47の素敵な(東京都)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 4afb-ihJv) 2016/02/27(土) 03:26:25.07 ID:y0GmoVSQ0.net
I think the celebrity world might be too hard for you, since you have no creases in your eye lids.

69: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:27:09.72 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I think you are right. I have never used it before, but I think I will try using “eye putty”.

74: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-u9De) 2016/02/27(土) 03:29:53.52 ID:ehgBeCOha.net
First of all, a 25 year old as an idol is already considered an old lady. Are you really at the level where you do not understand that?

78: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:32:47.12 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
I understand. I am almost 30 years old. I do not have much value as a woman.

I just thought that people who are really knowledgeable about idols would have some good advice, that’s all.

75: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:31:03.54 ID:KFsWKEaca.net
Do you have any experience with dance or sports?

79: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:33:35.53 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
In terms of sports, I have only learned swimming. My body is flexible but, in terms of dance, I have only ever just imitated some dance moves.

81: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-ihJv) 2016/02/27(土) 03:36:12.42 ID:QP0t8tQma.net
In your past auditions, how far did you get?

83: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:37:40.18 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
In a past SKE audition, I got to the 2nd round, but I was not able to participate because of something related to my entrance exams.

84: 47の素敵な(庭)@\(^o^)/ (アウアウ Sa50-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:39:11.27 ID:KFsWKEaca.net
Do you like any other singers besides the 48-groups?

85: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 03:40:37.03 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
Younger people might not understand, but I really like ELT.

110: 47の素敵な(静岡県)@\(^o^)/ (ワッチョイW 409e-Y0ST) 2016/02/27(土) 11:11:26.39 ID:+KtT/UTA0.net
While I was sleeping, I got so many replies. Thank you all very much. I think I will try to split my time between attending the auditions, and looking for a marriage-minded partner.

More entries in the “2chan says” series:

Author: yuki

  • Payuyu Fortyeight

    Ah this is really a good read! I was laughing most of the time lmao. I think she looks alright and her figure is really nice but well it’s true, 25 is pretty old. Maybe she should become an actress or a japanese celebrity, audition for those indie films and make a name

    • yuki

      Hi Payuyu, glad you enjoyed this.

      Indeed, 25 is pushing it; but then I remember Shinoda Mariko being part of AKB48 until she was 27 years old (then again, she did start at 19). There’s also Kojima Haruna! But generally I think you are right — these are exceptions to the rule it would seem.

  • Derek Vasconi

    Honestly, I felt sad reading this. She really wants to pursue the dream of being an idol, and only because of her age it seems that she can not do so. I think she is very beautiful too.
    I wish there was a way she could enter AKB and like be a big sister type idol right away, because of her age. But then when I started thinking about the reality of her entering into AKB, she would have to learn SO much, from dancing to how to be an idol in general, that by the time she mastered it all, she would probably be 30. Of course, she could catch on really fast and study hard and be a prodigy, but I think in general she wouldn’t be accepted even if she did all these things by wotas because AKB is all about youth. Just ask the members of SDN48…oh wait, you can’t because they were all mass graduated for being too old and too unsuccessful, apparently.
    However, if she were to somehow get into AKB48 group, I would support her, and I would like the fact that she was older and got in. That could be her appeal character even. But she won’t… competition is too high. If she really wants to entertain people, then maybe doing what Payuyu 48 said would be best?
    Ganbatte 2chan idol girl!

    • Payuyu Fortyeight

      oh right SDN48, do you remember when AKS experimented on this and they accepted mariri the otona member? (oshiete mommy center) idk if that worked, i forgot the reason why she graduated i guess it’s bc AKS found out that she was once a member of some band or something? but i think the otona member thing failed too, you’re right AKB is about youth

      • Derek Vasconi

        Oh, you are talking about Mariko. Not Shinoda of course, but the otona Mariko. I didn’t know that she had an issue that had possibly forced her graduation. I was under the impression she was just doing it on a limited basis as an experiment of sorts for AKB. Kind of like a promotional thing. Hmmm, interesting.
        Anyway, AKB is about youth, but that makes sense given the older members are clearing out of AKB in record numbers these days. The youth is all that’s going to be left by the time the 2020 Olympics roll around lol.

        • Payuyu Fortyeight

          lol sad but true, members like mayuyu, yukirin and possibly the 9th generation would be erased only yuihan would for surely be still around cos she’s gen. manager and gen. manager’s term is 5 yrs. lol hope people dont give up AKB by that time happens

          • Spoiling Everything

            she was only planned to be a member for 3 months. that’s 100% fact. SDN48 was very successful too. Akimoto just wanted to remove the “mature” image of idol groups since he felt uncomfortable with negative media reception to it.

          • Payuyu Fortyeight

            eh i read somewhere about mgmt discovering something about mariko being connected to a band or somethin before will i guess that article wasn’t accurate :v

    • yuki

      SDN48 did cross my mind, and I do agree that youthfulness is one aspect of what most people consider when thinking about idols.

      That being said, 25 years of age may be too old for an idol, but still youthful! She will have other dreams to pursue, I am sure of it.

  • fiorella

    I would like to become an idol, too but i’m as old as this girl and I’m not Japanese so it would be more difficult for me!!! i think she shouldn’t give up just because of her age because maybe she is older than the other girls but she is also more mature!!! But on the other side, competition is really high, and you must have a tough mind to get through all the stress!!!
    Anyway even though ,personally saying, i can’t be an idol, this summer my Tv career in Japan started =P (just kidding i appeared in one episode of Matsuko x Matsuko just once but i enjoyed =D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLSkctozCLU this is the video =D check it out if you want!!! I’m the second one— Fiorellasan!)